Our country is relatively obsessed with “reality television”. I personally think its the modern-day version of the Roman Colosseum. A place where we can go and watch people who are worse off than us and somehow feel a bit better about ourselves. We’ve all seen a pattern begin to emerge on certain reality television shows. It seems as if they’re just casting different variations of the exact same character. So I got to thinking, if Disney were to cast a Reality TV show WHO would be cast?
So we have to start with the grandaddy Reality TV show of them all, Survivor. Who are the “characters” of survivor?
The hot girl – Esmeralda – With her smoldering blue eyes, black hair, and perfect figure there are few chicks quite as hot as sassy Esmeralda from Hunchback of Notre Dame.
The guy who is in amazing shape – Hercules. There’s no denying that Hercules “perfect package packs a pair of pretty pecs”. A decent, if somewhat clueless guy, who is a easy on the eyes.
The country boy -‘Mater – There’s always one endearing country-boy type whose personality makes you just want to eat ’em up. ‘Mater is definitely our guy.
The natural beauty – Pocahontas – There’s always one girl on Survivor who you are amazed looks so beautiful after 32 days of not bathing, not shaving armpits, and not brushing their teeth. That would have to be Pocahontas!
The really mean back-stabbing girl – Cruella De Vil – While being perfectly nice to Anita’s face, Cruella is busily plotting how to get her own way behind her back. She’ll do anything to win, including stealing.
The schemer – Jafar – The schemer’s plan is always the same, cozy up to the groups leaders with a specific mission in mind, to destroy them and take their power. Who does this better than Jafar?
The delusional guy- Mike Wazowski- Mike fancies himself part of the power-team, the one who directs Sully on how to be the best, but the magazine front reveals whose really in charge.
The old person – Carl Fredrickson – On every Survivor there is a person who looks frail and too old to be on the show, but ends up being a real trooper and adventure seeker.
The “Alpha” male – Mr. Incredible (young) – He’s tough, he’s strong, he’s got it going on. Every guy wants to be him and every girl wants to be with him. He’s the alpha!
The honest/nice person – Simba – The one we root for because they’re just so nice. They want to win but they don’t want to have to be someone their not, or lie, to do it. They’ll never be the evil one, its just not in them.
The super annoying guy – Kuzco from Emperors New Groove – Is there someone more annoying than Kuzco? Be honest?!
Who do you think would be cast? Better yet, who would win?