Princess Punch-up: Who’s Really the Fairest?

Beauty is only skin deep. Although we’ve all heard that saying, we still appreciate and are attracted to, a pretty face. And Walt Disney did little to correct that trend. His first three Princesses were heavy on the looks, light on true depth. But 30 years
have passed and the final six official Princesses have worn a different tiara.

So who would be the fairest Princess of them all if we added more than beauty into the equation? To find out, we will gauge each Princess on the following criteria: Independence; Judgment; Contribution; Personality; and of course, Physical Appearance.

Let’s start by meeting the contestants:

Snow White (1937) – SW

Cinderella (1950) – CIN

Aurora (1959) – SB

Ariel (1989) – LM

Belle (1991) – BEL

Jasmine (1992) – JAS

Pocahontas (1995) – POC

Mulan (1998) – MUL

Substitute: Rapunzel (2011) – RAP

Tiana had to bow out of the contest due to other commitments, and the fact that I haven’t seen her movie The Princess and the Frog yet.

Independence

SW, CIN, and SB definitely lose this category. They were little more than bystanders in their own lives. LM, BEL, JAS, MUL, and RAP all lived in restrictive times but were able to rise above that to find their own path. But each did rely on others to help them do it. So this round goes to Pocahontas.

This Indian Princess was independent from the get go! She had a strong will and a determination to try new things which ultimately led to bridges being built between two very different cultures.

Runner Up: Mulan

Judgment

Again, our first three Princesses didn’t have many decisions to make. Others did it for them, or to them, in the case of Cinderella. When she decided to venture out, it was under the protection of her Fairy Godmother. But that’s not enough to win this round.

LM also loses this round because she went to an evil Witch to get what she wanted! RAP also loses for trusting a thief, although no one could blame her considering the situation!

So that leaves it to the final four Princesses. JAS snuck out from the safety of her palace, but was in no real danger, as she could always identify herself for protection. POC and MUL both risked a lot and put them themselves in great danger, but it was for a
good cause.

But I’m giving this round to Belle. She decided to sacrifice herself, her freedom, and her future, to save her ailing Father. A nobler thing I can’t imagine!

Runner Up: Cinderella

Contribution

SW, CIN, and SB were all good housekeepers. They sang well and were kind to animals. For their times, those were good contributions.

LM, JAS, and RAP were more about their personal journeys. They did touch others along the way, but their stories were more about them.

That leaves BEL, POC, and MUL. BEL eventually left the Beast, although she did return. But I’m disqualifying her for that anyway. And although POC did make for peace, I have to give this round to Mulan. Hey, she helped win a war!

Runner Up: Pocahontas

Personality

All of our contestants have good personalities. But let’s see if we can eliminate some in a lightning round. SW: Too sweet. SB: Not enough to go on. LM: Possibly a bit selfish. BEL: A tad condescending to her ‘provincial’ neighbors? JAS: Spoiled. POC: A bit too intense. MUL: Conflicted.

I’m giving this to Cinderella. No matter how horrid everyone was too her, she just kept singing and working and… loving! Even after her Prince came, she didn’t hold a grudge against her wicked stepfamily. Now that’s character!

Runner Up: Rapunzel

Physical Appearance

This is purely a matter of taste. Some of the Disney Princesses are more overtly sexual than others, even though that’s not something we’re supposed to notice. But come on, a clamshell bra? Who wouldn’t notice? But for me, Jasmine wins this round!

Runner Up: Aurora

And the Winner is…

So if we add up the points, which is the ultimate Princess? The fairest of the fair? Rating each Princess on each of the categories with a 1 for least and 5 for the most relevant, the winner is:

Pocahontas

Runner Up: Cinderella. And hoping that both break a heel on the way to the podium: Belle

If you disagree, leave a comment and tell me why!

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